I originally started this journal more with the thought of it being a weblog, and an occasional source of information on what I'm writing; it's been a bit more personal than that, since in the year or so I've been doing it my life has been tumultuous--at least by my standards--and there hasn't been that much writing done to speak of. Even so I've worked on avoiding doing what I've described as cutting your wrists and bleeding over the IP packets: I'm not interested in putting sordid secrets up here, or (with an occasional lapse) political and philosophical diatribes.
But, I'll bleed enough to observe that 2001 has by and large sucked. The reasons why it's sucked on a national scale don't need a lot of extra discussion here; on a personal level most of my troubles have been work-related: taking the risk of switching jobs in February has been a learning experience, so I keep telling myself. If you've been reading this you know it could certainly have worked out better. I'm taking home more money every week, which I'm thankful for, but if I'd stayed at Intermedia I'd have gotten a one-time 'retention bonus' which would have meant I'd have made just as much this year--and if nothing else, I'd have spent it with an easier commute.
Of course, objectively, it's good that I am employed. I'm having financial problems but they're of my own making, and as long as I don't stop being employed too soon they're surmountable. I'm better off than a lot of people I know.
That doesn't really lessen the air of depression I've had recently--it's been particularly strong over the last couple of weeks--but it does keep things in perspective. I'm not happy with 2001 on the whole, but at least it looks like I'm going to make it through the year intact. I'm less than two months away from my annual California trip, which is always cheering.
And maybe whatever risks I take heading into 2002 will pan out better. I'm expecting major personal changes in the next year; I'm trying to gird myself for making a real geographic move. It's time I see another part of the country for a while, maybe. I'd like the Southwest, or the California coast, or even the Pacific Northwest despite my fear of snow. At least, I think I would. Maybe next year I'll find out.