Watts (chipotle) wrote,

Well, it's over. After five years with Intermedia Communications, my last day was today.</p>

It's been a more maudlin day than I expected, although I really should have expected it to be. The desire I've had for over a year to get out of the company and into a more interesting role hasn't lessened. But I haven't made friends like these in any other job that I've been at--and I haven't been at any other job nearly as long as this one.

Today was Second Thought Day, too. Is this really the move I should be making? Shouldn't I have held out until the WorldCom merger happened, or was definitively off? If I really want to provide my services to a wildlife non-profit, shouldn't I have just kept looking for one and not worried about the money? And, of course: am I really going to be able to do the job I've been hired for?

It's easy to get panicked over "what ifs," to question whether I'm fooling myself about my capabilities. God knows there are times I feel like I'm just fooling everyone and at any moment I'm going to be found out and sent back to McDonald's. But I also know I don't have the distance from this now to be a good judge. Did I feel this way when I interviewed with Intermedia's WAN Engineering group in 1997? I don't remember it clearly . &. . but I think I did. The big difference is that then I was just moving around in the same company, not heading into the great unknown.

Wish me luck, if you will.


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