Watts (chipotle) wrote,

So I'm in the middle of a "take it easy" period; I'm still doing the resume-twiddling but I'm trying to relax about it. Last entry I referred to an "air of depression" that I've been in--to be more honest, I have worries that it's a clinical depression, albeit in a mild form. A week and a half ago I started taking hypericum (St. John's Wort), something I had positive experiences with a few years ago after my grandmother died. It seems to me I'm already feeling positive effects from it, although I'm told it generally takes two to six weeks (presuming you treat it like real medicine instead of a herbal supplement, and get the recommended formulation and take the recommended dosage determined in clinical trials).</p>

Yesterday I sent a resumé to Lawrence Livermore National Labs, for a computer support position they've had open since March (!). I think I'm basically qualified, but I wonder what they're waiting for if they haven't hired yet--I can't imagine they really have a shortage of people who'd qualify. Hmm. I also have a position at UC Berkeley to get things together for, which is more of a longshot (a kind of "web editor" position: something else I'm confident I could do, but which I'm probably not as qualified for on paper). And of course there's the position with the Forest Service in Eureka that I'm not likely to hear anything back on before mid-December.

...which brings up the question of: why California? To which the obvious answer is: damned if I know. I've been drawn to the west coast for years; as much as I like the southwest, I think the Pacific coast has a slightly greater call. And I'm finding that even after the dotcom implosion, there are cool non-profit positions out there with reasonable salaries. I think I'd prefer to be somewhere on the outskirts of the San Francisco metro area--close enough to visit people I know there but far enough away for things to be both less expensive and a little wilder (in the nature sense). Given both the economy as a whole and the shift away from locating companies in Silicon Valley that started even before the collapse, I suspect that urban sprawl isn't going to overtake those outskirts as fast as anyone looking ahead from 1999 would have predicted.

At any rate, it's clear to me that the transition I made away from Intermedia at the start of this year was just a way stop--I'm still in a period of flux. And I have a feeling that 2002 is going to see me, for the first time in my (remembered) life, living somewhere other than the Tampa Bay area.

As you might expect from the "taking it easy" theme, I haven't been attempting to do much writing--sitting in front of a computer screen failing to write is a stress I need to be a bit more balanced to face. (The belief that writers work best when they're miserable is, in both personal experience and observation, crap. Misery and stress make great catalysts for storytelling, but even mild depression is enough to ruin concentration.) I have another story idea that's been started, though; maybe it'll go somewhere, finally. As for myself, this weekend I'll be going somewhere--to a state park lodge in the panhandle with a couple friends, one of whom is probably as stressed as I am and the other one who is far more so. Hopefully it will be an occasion to relax rather than stress at one another!


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