September 22nd, 2004

default, pepper

(no subject)

I'm used to being slightly unfocused except when I have a project, but I have several projects now and I'm more unfocused than usual. What's up with this?

I've written in the past--the very recent past, no less--that I'm not sure what I want to be when I grow up. That's a little facetious, but of course, it isn't entirely so.

Recently, queenofstripes talked about the "corrupt and short-sighted corporate culture"; while I'm certainly not consciously going through job ads the last few weeks thinking nah, this would just put me deeper into the corrupt and short-sighted corporate culture, my enthusiasm level is markedly low in a way that I don't think I can attribute solely to a deficiency of vitamins and St. John's Wort. In the interest of full disclosure, this week has had a really high proportion of "close but not quite" jobs, where I have most of what they're looking for but am missing something that's definitely a must-have.

I'm certainly not going to turn down any jobs in my ostensible field, nor stop looking, but there's no denying that my interest level is steadily dropping--yet at the same time, my lack of success in getting a new position is clearly affecting my interest level in personal projects.

I'm beginning to wonder if maybe the theoretical $8/hour barista job might not be a better "career" move than I'm giving it credit for.
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