October 15th, 2003

default, pepper


Yesterday was another "what am I doing here" kind of day. The last query I was running was killed by a sysadmin who sent me an "Optimize your queries" email, describing how I should do a date range check--rather than the way the MySQL manual tells me to do it. My boss and I rarely speak to one another, and he left my last invoice tucked away on my desk rather than forwarding it on to the CFO. The invoice before that, I still haven't gotten paid on. (Technically it's still within the "Net 15" terms but I have a suspicion it hasn't been forwarded.) I don't look studious at work any more, because I'm not feeling studious.

And that unoptimized query wasn't returning the right data as it was.

This is, as they say, a less than enviable position.

I remember my angst back at NetPoodles, wondering when the right time to jump was and the sense of relief I had at being pushed. Here it's not going to be a layoff if I get asked to leave, but I don't get unemployment benefits from this work anyway, so "leaving to pursue other opportunities" doesn't carry any extra downsides beyond the loss of income.

--which is a pretty steep downside, granted.

I'm likely to teeter on the edge here until I get pushed or I see even a hint of a soft landing. Another, even temporary, position close to what I want to do. A freelance contract. (A publishable manuscript for the press--but that's not going to be an income generator for a long time, I know.) The real horns of my dilemma: I'm not finding the spare time to start these things in my spare time.

In any case, it's time to head into work again.